Saturday, February 7, 2009

Edition #4-Shantilal Battles a cold by Anon


Shantilal battles a cold


In this season of rains Mr. Shantilal Shah
Developed a frightening cold;
So he went to the doctor who’d treated his Pa.
From here does this story unfold.


The doctor was dead; in his place sat a youth,
Who was confident, flashy and smart –
“Your problem”, he said, “let me tell you the truth,
Is no cold, but a hole in the heart”


This surprised Mr Shah, for his forty one years,
Were remarkable free of disease,
If you don’t count his piles, or the wax in his years,
Or his baffling allergy to cheese.


But he went all the same to a cardiac Doc.,
Who had thirteen exotic degrees,
And the 1st thing he said gave our patient a shock,
“Do you think you can manage my fees?”


When the tests were completed, his heart missed a beat,
And he trembled and shook at the knees,
As he stared in alarm at that terrible sheet,
At his bill for five thousand rupees!!


The doctor was brisk; in a tone very bland,
He said he’d located the cause;
The problem was clearly the thyroid gland,
But his heart was as strong as a horse.


When a specialist declared that the thyroid was fine;
Suspicion successively fell –
On his kidneys and lung and his stomach and spine,
But they were acquitted as well.


A surgeon explored his insides all around,
As he searched for a growth in the gut;
In a moment of pique, when it couldn’t be found,
Just grabbed his appendix and cut!!


The doctors then gathered together and made,
Their conclusions and all were agreed;
Psychiatric help and not medical aid,
Was his urgent, immediate need.


An enraged Shantilal, turned a violent pink,
And he thundered, “Enough, I am through!
Indeed, I am sick, but it’s not what you think,
I am SICK of the whole lot of you!!!”
-Author wishes not to disclose his name

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