Edition #1- What does your Sun ‘’Sign’’ ...or its proxy say...??

What does your Sun ‘’Sign’’ ...or its proxy say...??

:You like being bossy because you are at the start of the zodiac ...that doesn’t mean that you are right...that doesn’t mean anything at all... haven’t you heard of the first being the last and the last being the first?

Academically you should be at an all time high (so much so that you will actually pray for some examination to be there...but since the mid terms are just done with and the prelims nowhere near you can plead professors to conduct class test to show off your academic skills).

Health is going to be good so you have the liberty to have food made anywhere without falling ill... so the stars suggest that now would be a good time to try out the college canteen’s food...

Lucky numbers: 0 to 7 .Octal

:You are so in trouble man...I mean there is absolutely nothing that’s good for you this fortnight. You would be lucky not to be struck by lightning on a clear sky day. Nothing you do is going to be fruitful.

Even if you intend to do something good it’ll get messed up. ’All’ your proxies will be caught. You will write the assignments on your own but something wrong will happen to it ...like you get the wrong questions or your friend who is going to copy from you is going to lose it. So you might as well submit your assignments 2 weeks late.

Health and wealth would not be much of a problem but since your stars are so bad I can provide no guarantees. So I suggest you bring your own dabba to college...that should save your health and wealth.

Lucky number: 0 . Nothing is coming your way..not even the numbers

:You are going to the have the most meaningless 2 weeks of your life . Nothing constructive nor destructive will happen for you or by you. Your actions will come to no logical end, so I suggest you just chill and do nothing at all.

The only calls you shall receive will be from service centres’. So you can safely ignore all calls that come from unknown numbers during lectures. It’s definitely not from who you would hope it to be from.

You are going to be more or less unnoticed for quite some time. Your health should be pretty pink ...coz even the germs would not notice you.

Lucky numbers: 0 n 1 . Binary

:It’s a nice week for you to make plans...coz things will go exactly opposite to what you have planned...basically you know what is not going to happen.

It’s such a time that you will want to bunk a lecture and all your friends will want to sit for attendance... you want to sit for attendance and all your friends bunk for food...and there is no point in standing your ground coz even if you attend the lecture without them the teacher is likely to be absent or cancel the lecture.

You shall spread humour though...but beware people will be laughing AT you. But please don’t even try to make up jokes or tell some to people around you...”We don’t want people to suffer from a Cancer”...lol

Lucky numbers:- minus infinity to 0 . Negative numbers

:You are lazy and laid back ... but you will find an excuse for everything. Your creativity will help you evade a lot of trouble that your laziness will cost you- like late submissions, keeping your friends waiting and even your low attendance...So go Leo!! (others can tag along with the Leo if they want to benefit from their excuses)

You are going to be amidst people who are around you just to use you...so don’t think they are genuinely interested in what you are saying. Avoid cracking terrible jokes and forcing them to laugh. It might come back to bite you.

You will be under the professors scanner...so don’t think they are not looking at you... coz they are...they really are...

Lucky number:- 7.77777777

:If not anything, I can guarantee you this...this is not a financially good period for you....coz your BIRTHDAY is nearing. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

You are definitely going to have a good social life...I mean everyone wants to be around the birthday boy...so make sure you call lots of people for your birthday...your stars say that yours expenditure will be equalled by the gifts they get you .

You will not find time to sit in front of the TV or PC , as you will be on the phone for really long hours. So remember to charge your phone everyday and carry a charger wherever you go.

Lucky number: 0 to F . Hexadecimal

:Anger management is what you need. I mean how much can someone yell?? ...that’ll be answered when people hear you yelling.

Even the slightest trigger can upset you off...you need to chill or you won’t have assignments to copy from. And stay away from professors, not when your term work hangs in the balance.

It will seem like everything in the world is trying to put you off...but you need to be cool in tough circumstances. You will sit on the comp to access the net but your net will be down...you will go watch TV but the cable will be off...you will call your friends but they will be on another call....and they won’t find time to call you back...

But don’t get angry....coz it will cost you...and cost you real bad...(don’t come yelling to me...i only read what the stars say..)

Lucky number: 0.323243

:So they say you have the sting...maybe they are just jealous of your fling and diamond rings. Just be careful as there are devils in disguise all around you! Who am i kidding....no one is more dangerous than you yourself.

Conflicts are the spot of bother for the fortnight ahead...and you are going to be in the middle of it. You will have to make a choice between RIGHT and equally RIGHT or you will be LEFT with nothing at all.

The best thing for you in this period of time is your social life. You will meet new people and if you are single, this is the time to strike...(So Strike while September is HOT.)

Lucky number:- i and j. Imaginary numbers

:The archer shooting for the stars ,eh? Yea looking up is good but you must watch your step lest you trip and fall flat on your face or step foot on biological waste products lying around.

Your luck is going to be amazingly...in carrom....so if you don’t find a coin to pocket ...just strike aimlessly and you are bound to pocket a coin...and your breaks will send at least 2 whites into the pocket.

Lucky number:- 3.09823 x 10^-23 . after all you are the high precision type

:Ah! Another clan of SRK followers singing “I’m the best!!”...OK, OK but did you ask any of your friends if they think the same. Be careful if you are going to do that right now after reading this. The horoscope is not liable if you return with a broken heart.

You are likely to have a few software crashes and suffer from really low download speeds so I suggest you go home and first back up your important data and set a recovery point as soon as possible. Also you are most likely to run out of printer ink.

Try to be non-existent in class coz if the teachers notice you ...you’ll lose attendance for absolutely no fault of yours. Don’t try to enter class if you are late by even a minute coz you won’t be taken inside.

Lucky number: ¼ . A quarter

:The Dreamers of the lot are here....but dont dream so much that we’ll have to put a sprinkler to get you back to your senses every now and then. Your attention span is worse than that of a wooden plank... its so bad that i dont think it has last through till the end of this sentence.

You need to pay more attention to things around you and especially to your professors (at least during the roll calls). Try and take care of your things although you are destined to lose a few precious things in the weeks to come.

Lucky number:- i and j... imaginary numbers

:The last in the line Pisces, stop being lazy and stop thinking this horoscope is going to change anything. You want something...do something or at least say it...

Speech is silver and silence is gold. The Lord has given you a tongue, don’t let is rust and become old. Occasionally speaking the stars assure, won’t make your teeth fall out.

Say what you feel and for once stop being a diplomat. People like you because you say what they like to hear. Tell them what they need to know and see who your true friends are.

Lucky number: 1 you will be in a logically "high" state

-Vivek Radhakrishnan BE(Final Year) CE
-Karen Aranha Third Year PPT